Window into my Heart

Matthew 5:38-42 (ESV)

“You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.”

Lord, give me your eyes to see those who are hurting, those who are marginalized, and even those lashing out in anger. Let me see them as you do, Lord. Give me your eyes. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. 

As I continue to pray this prayer, God continues to answer it. 

He is transforming my heart and my mind. I read scriptures like this one and I swallow hard. I read them again and double-check to make sure Jesus was serious. 

I read it a third time to see if there is any exception to what he is saying. I don’t find any. I let out a big sigh as I remember all the times I did not allow offenses to go unchecked, all of the times I prioritized my own wants, needs, and schedule over others. I hang my head as I think of all of the people who have begged me for help, who I have driven right past. I think of those who wanted to borrow something who I thought might not return them or might damage my things before returning them. 

I read the passage a fourth time and repent. 

Jesus is saying that my pride, my belongings, my time, my physical strength, and my money are not to be withheld from other people. I hear the little voice in my head protesting, “But Jesus, those are my things, that’s my time, mine, mine, mine.” I sound like my toddler, trying to avoid sharing his toys with his brother, as I attempt to rationalize with Jesus. I make my protest more adult, “Lord, I worked really hard for these things. I must be wise in how I distribute them. That person is probably just going to use this money for drugs and I will use it for your glory.”

This rationale works for a moment and then another Bible story bubbles to the surface of my thoughts.

Mark 12:31 (ESV)

“The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Jesus modeled a kind of radical love that is freely given. His gift of salvation is for all. No one deserves it. 

All that I have is yours Lord. 

Matthew 5:42 (ESV)

“Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.”

God is working on my heart daily. He is convicting me and helping me hold out my belongings, my resources, and my strength with an open hand. All of this is yours, Lord. It is not mine to judge who is worthy or who has the best intentions because you gave me all of these things even when I was unworthy.